13 Reasons Why: Seasons 2 (Part 2)

I apologize. I thought this was a 4-part series but it is only two. Here is the second installment:

Season 2 of the Netflix series 13 Reasons Why was released last week. This series is based on a novel written by Jay Asher. After classmate and love interest, Hannah Baker, commits suicide, Clay Jensen is left reeling to understand why. He returns home from school to find a package with his name on it lying on his porch. Inside, he discovers several cassette tapes recorded by Hannah. She tells him that there are thirteen reasons why she decided to end her life, and Clay is one of them. If he listens, he’ll find out why.

What we know of season 2 thus far is that it will continue the story and do so using some of the same themes. It will depict lives full of secrets, poor decisions with grave consequences, sexual assault, violence, guns, substance abuse, and the on-going impact of suicide. It will also encourage a resurgence of curiosity in the first season.

People have very strong opinions regarding the benefit and potential harm of this series. Some argue it is beneficial to bring to light hard topics that face youth today and believe it encourages conversation on these important topics. Others argue it glamorizes the worst of teen culture and portrays rape, liberal sexuality, substance abuse, lies, and violence as normal in the lives of teens. Many families would find this far from normal, while for others, it may hit close to home. What I hope we all agree on is this: while it is good to encourage healthy conversations on tough topics, we also do not want our kids to accept as normal the culture this show describes, nor do we want their choices/decisions to mimic what might be seen there.

If there was anything positive in the message of the first season, it was that choices have consequences (at times, very serious ones) and that we all must take responsibility for our own actions. That, however, was not enough to sway the opinion of the National Association of School Psychologists. They acknowledge the potential for more harm than good by stating: “We do not recommend that vulnerable youth, especially those who have any degree of suicidal ideation, watch this series. Its powerful storytelling may lead impressionable viewers to romanticize the choices made by the characters and/or develop revenge fantasies.”

Should your child choose to watch the series or you choose to watch it with them, it is essential that you discuss the program together. Here are some of the themes, some obvious, and some not so obvious, that you may find in the series:

Partying, substance abuse, and liberal sexuality are portrayed as normal, common, and expected.

Lies, deceit, and secrets are commonplace and inevitable.

Powerful, suggestive scenarios depict life choices that were once off-limits (such as suicide, violence, revenge) as now possible for a young person.

Violence, sexual assault, bullying/ threatening behaviors and suicide are frequent topics (and this may contribute to the emotional struggles in more vulnerable kids).

Young people are depicted as the competent ones and must find solutions to problems amongst themselves.

Parents and other adults are seen as incompetent or incapable of handling the truth and are therefore kept in the dark.

Teen culture is characterized with a permeating sense of vanity and desperation.

There is no reason for hope; there is no reason to live or confidence expressed that life will get better beyond present sufferings.


These false messages must be exposed, discussed, and bridges built with young people. They need to know that if they open up to their parents or another competent adult, there is help and support and understanding. We can, and must, do a far better job of engaging young people on these topics than any TV show.

Regardless of what you think of the series, realize this: kids need reasons to live. They need to know that they can face hard things, even traumatic and insurmountable things, and get through them with God’s help. They need to have hope and know they are not alone. We can offer them that hope. We have someone even greater and more intimately involved in their struggles: their Creator and Savior. In my blog from season one, I offered a list from the Bible of 13 reasons why life is worth living. Use them to help kids connect the dots from God’s promises to their struggles. Show them that God knows what is going on in their lives—that he longs to interact with them personally and offers them an abundant, rich, hope-filled life. In fact, do this even if your kids aren’t watching 13 Reasons Why. It’s something we all need.

13 Reasons Why: Season 1 (Part 1)

I want to pause with thoughts from John Calvin on self-denial to share four blog posts from Julie Lowe on the Netflix series, 13 Reasons Why. This series explores teenage suicide and has been a topic of many conversations among teenagers and young adults. Here are Lowe's reflections on Season 1. She writes from a parent's perspective, but I think non-parents can benefit from her words, too. I usually do not use long blog posts like this and when I do use them, I link to them instead of posting the entire content. However, for the ease of email subscribers I will post the entire essay below. The link to the original post is here.

“Have we talked with our children this week about the delights of living more

than the disciplines of living? Have we inspired and guided them more

than we have corrected them?”

– V. Gilbert Beers

Many of you are familiar with a Netflix series that is capturing the attention of middle and high schoolers alike. 13 Reasons Why is based on a novel written by Jay Asher. After classmate and love interest, Hannah Baker, commits suicide, Clay Jensen is left reeling to understand why. He returns home from school to find a package with his name on it lying on his porch. Inside, he discovers several cassette tapes recorded by Hannah. She tells him that there are thirteen reasons why she decided to end her life. Clay is one of them. If he listens, he’ll find out why.

Clay becomes a firsthand witness to Hannah’s pain, and as he follows along with her taped words, he uncovers the people that impacted her decision—and their secrets. Clay is conflicted with guilt, confusion, and a desire to right the wrongs that have been committed.

The haunting question left for the living is this: “Did I kill Hannah Baker?” Guilt and shame quickly wreak havoc on a group of students whose lives are thrown together by the secrets they are each trying to hide. It ends with a heart break, some secrets being revealed, and some not. If there is anything positive in the message, it is that choices have consequences (at times, very serious ones) and that we all must take responsibility for our own actions.

However, this valid message is greatly overshadowed by the graphic brutality, sexuality and corruption that is displayed as fairly “normal” for kids this age. The program reflects the underlying themes present in many other teen dramas: licentiousness, do what feels good, look out for number one, recreational sex and drug use—all with little redemptive guidance in the drama that unfolds. Parents and other adults are depicted as incompetent, ill-informed people who interfere with what teenage reason knows to be the better way. And though these activities and beliefs may be normal for some adolescents, these programs create a distorted sense of what is typical for American teen culture and set a bad precedent for the average teen/preteen who is watching.

I could rail on the reasons this series should not be targeted to young people and the risks it creates for other youths to take steps similar to Hannah Baker. However, there is something valuable I took away from this story. It is this: Kids need reasons why they should live. They need to find meaning and identity in things that genuinely fulfill. They need hope. And they need to learn how to live.

Have we given our kids 13 reasons why life is worth living? Have we fostered conversations about hard topics? Have we convinced them that no subject is too hard for us to hear, no issue is off limits, and that we can handle even the most intimate details of their lives with genuine love and concern? We must be proactive and foster connections with our young people. When they are tempted to believe what we have to say is inconsequential or inadequate, we must work tirelessly to engage them, proving our value in their lives.

Let teens know they are not alone. Be proactive in addressing hard topics when they are young, before the issues even enter their world. Be a redemptive guide speaking into the corruption they will be forced to wade through. Let them know there is One who fights on their behalf.

Here are 13 reasons you can give your children for why life is worth living:

1. You are not alone. “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” (Psalm 23:4)

2. You have value. “You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” “Don’t be afraid. You are worth more than many sparrows.” (1 Peter 2:9; Matthew 10:31)

3. God cares about your tears. “God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” (Revelation 21:4)

4. You can find help. “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” “We do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” (Psalm 46:1; Hebrews 4:15-16)

5. Your life has purpose. “I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

6. What you are going through is temporary. “Do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

7. There is a good way forward, even when life is hard. “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13)

8. You are more than your outward appearance. “The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7)

9. You cannot imagine what good lies in store for you. “No eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man—the things which God has prepared for those who love him.” (1 Corinthians 2:9)

10. You will not always feel this way. “We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed.” “For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” (2 Corinthians 4:8-9; Psalm 30:5)

11. You are greatly loved. “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” “How wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.” (Jeremiah 31:3; Ephesians 3:18)

12. You will not be put to shame. “Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.” “Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For he himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’ So we may boldly say: ‘The LORD is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?’” (Isaiah 54:4; Hebrews 13:5-6)

13. God is up to good in your life. “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Genesis 50:20; Romans 8:28)

As parents, live out these 13 reasons yourself! When you talk with your kids, put these reasons into your own words, adorned with your life experience and theirs. And, as appropriate, point them to Scripture where God gives these reasons. Help them to connect the dots from God’s promises to their struggles. The goal is not to quote Scripture at our kids, but to bring truth to life in relevant words and actions. We want to help them see that the Bible speaks of far more than correction and rules. It speaks of life and freedom and personal relationship with a God who knows what is going on in their lives. The challenge is to winsomely and convincingly speak such truths into their experiences. And, when God is present, you will find that there are far more than 13 reasons life is worth living. So keep looking and listening to our living, loving God!

This is part one of a two part series: Part 2