Sunday, March 25, 2018

Anger in Marriage

Continuing from yesterday's post, young men should be aware of how anger may play out in their marrriages. This is an exhortation from someone who learned this late in life.

In biblical marriages, the relationship between husband and wife is characterized as one of headship and submission. Ephesians 5:20ff describes this relationship in which the wife is to respect and submit to her husband's headship while the husband is to love his wife as Christ loves the church.

In the context of Paul's instruction, it can be tempting for husbands to demand respect. And, reflecting on yesterday's post, many husbands become angry at their wives when they do not honor them. I don't believe demanding respect is biblical.

It is right for a husband to exhort his wife to be respectful, but not for his sake or glory, but for her sake. A wife who does not honor her husband is, first and foremost, disobeying the Lord; her sin - like all sins - is against God. Remember David's words to God in Psalm 51: "Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight."

Any time fellow brothers or sisters in Christ is in sin, it is our responsibility to correct and exhort them, so that they will repent and flee from sin (Hebrews 3:13). One of the ways that a husband can determine if he correcting his wife for his own benefit not hers is by his reaction: Am I reacting in anger? As mentioned yesterday, Christ never became angry when he was personally attacked or offended. A husband - a symbol of Christ in marriage - must react in the same way. If he reacts in anger to his wife's sin, he is guilty before God as well.

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