Carry the Honor

Arterburn and Stoeker complete their book, Everyman's Battle, with an appeal to husbands to continue to cherish their wives. To be able to cherish your wife under all circumstances is a strong indication of maturity and victory over sexual sin. The authors remind us what a wife has given up for marriage:

Your wife gave up her freedom for you. She relinquished her rights to seek happiness elsewhere. She exchanged this freedom for something she considered more valuable: your love and your word. Her dreams are tied up in you, dreams of sharing and communication and oneness.

She's pledged to be yours sexually. Her sexuality is her most guarded possession....She trusted you would be worthy of this gift, but you have cavalierly viewed sensual garbage, polluting and littering [her marriage to you]. She deserves more, and you must honor that.

Later, they offer a final word:

If cherishing is anything, it's loving your wife for who she is this day, not some other day down the line. It's making allowances for all the surprises and inconsistencies that were hidden until life spun her in its new direction....Be content with the wife of your youth. If she isn't all you'd hoped for, remember that God graced you with [her]. Can you make a commitment to cherish her today?

I can't add much more to this. Sexual integrity matters to God and, therefore, it should matter to you. While this book focused a lot on married life, the principles hold true for single guys, too. Even the last chapter, which is about cherishing the wife you have, applies to single men. The things you do today - especially regarding sexual sin - will be brought into your future marriage if you don't address them now. Don't think that marriage will fix you. Fix your problems now. Don't bring this kind of baggage into your future marriage. It will make cherishing your wife that much more difficult and your marriage that much more painful. Allow God to change your heart. Do the hard work of repentance and change now. You will reap the rewards in your marriage to come.