Coping with Criticism - Part 2

Continuing from yesterday, here are a couple of more ways to handle criticism:

Second, consider the source. Though you should take every criticism seriously, it is still wise to ask yourself: who is criticizing me? Is my critic a friend or foe, a mature believer or a hardened unbeliever, a highly critical individual, or perhaps a fringe member of the church? If your critic is someone known for wisdom, you should encourage his or her constructive evaluation.

Third, consider timing and prayer. The physical setting, timing, and situation out of which criticism comes may help you determine whether the criticism is helpful. As a general rule, don't respond to criticism for at least twenty-four hours to allow yourself time to pray, think, and get counsel.

Coping with Criticism - Part 1

I've owned a copy of The Reformation Heritage KJV Study Bible for several years, but only recently discovered some great supplemental materials in the back of the book. In the "Study Helps" section I found a resource called "Coping with Criticism."

We all receive criticism in one form or another in our lives. The danger is that often upon receiving it our reactions take us into one of two ditches: (1) We ingest the criticism such that it defines who we are and we develop a fear of man, or (2) we fully reject the criticism and tumble into the ditch of pride. Instead we need to travel the rode of humility, believing that we are accepted, loved, and defined by Christ, while acknowledging that our sanctification will take a lifetime and criticism can lead to self-examination and godly change.

Over the next few posts, I will share the advice offered by the essay in my study Bible. Here is the first item:

First, consider criticism inevitable. If you're living as a Christian in a hostile world that hates what you believe, you can't escape criticism. Jesus said that the world will hate us even as it hated Him (John 15:18; 1 John 3:1). He added in Luke 6:26, "Woe unto you, when all men shall speak well of you."

We'll look at a couple more tomorrow.

Hebrews 1:1-4

I opened my Bible this morning and was led to the book of Hebrews. The first four verses are absolutely beautiful:

Long ago, at many times and in many ways, God spoke to our fathers by the prophets, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed the heir of all things, through whom also he created the world. He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power. After making purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high, having become as much superior to angels as the name he has inherited is more excellent than theirs.

Love of the World

Our fickle hearts wander away and so easily give our affection to another. The Bible calls this "love of the world." And the Bible tells us that if we love the world, the love of the father is not in us. James says that we get angry with one another because we are spiritual adulterers, and the person next to us gets in the way of what we love (James 4:1-4). The world is so attractive to our eyes and so seductive to our hearts. The creation can seem so much more real than the Creator. The sights, sounds, touches, and tastes of the world can seem to make us more alive than the purposes, promises, presence, and provisions of a God who can neither be seen or heard. This is a battle you do not win once. It is a battle that you must face every day. You must tell yourself that in this world you are surrounded by other lovers who will seek to woo you away from the one grand romance that is to be the core of your existence. You must prepare for this seduction and you must steel yourself against the temptation to spiritual adultery. And you must do it again and again and again, or your heart will be stolen away.
-Paul David Tripp

Note: This marks post number 300 for "God Before Midnight" since February 18, 2018!

Micah 4:6-7

"In that day," declares the Lord,
"I will assemble the lame
and gather those who have been driven away
and those whom I have afflicted;
and the lame I will make the remnant,
and those who were cast off, a strong nation;
and the Lord will reign over them in Mount Zion
from this time forth and forevermore."

Could the Apostle Paul Say This About Us?

"I thank my God, making mention of you always in my prayers, hearing of your love and faith which you have toward the Lord Jesus and toward all the saints, that the sharing of your faith may become effective by the acknowledgment of every good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus. For we have great joy and consolation in your love, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed by you, brother." - Philemon 4-7

Change in Everyday Life

God's Word invites change. In the Bible's vivid picture, we "turn" to our Father, Savior, and Comforter. He works in us toward one goal: change. The central dynamic of the Christian life has the FROM...TO...movement. Repentance is not only how we start the Christian life; it is the Christian life. Faith does new transactions and conversations with God. Love does new actions, and choices on the stage of life. When God calls, you listen. When he promises, you trust and talk back to him in your need. When he loves, you love. When he commands, you obey. You aim your life in a new direction by the power of the Holy Spirit. In every case, you turn.

The patterns, themes, and tendencies of our lives are what we see when, figuratively, we view our lives from the observation deck of the Empire State Building. From one hundred floors up, Manhattan and the Hudson River spread serenely before you. But the action and noise of life happens at the corner of Fifth Avenue and 34th Street, and when we take the Lincoln Tunnel home to Hoboken. The big stories of our lives are worked out in a running series of small scenes. This is how God has made it to be. He works for a turn-the-world-upside-down reorientation and redirection. Change takes place in the watershed moments and decisive incidents of everyday life. - David Powlison

Final Thoughts - Making a Living

As you can see, it's been quite a journey. Looking back, I don't think that I ever had or really pursued a "career" in a real sense. And when I did - human resources or teaching - I wound up moving or being moved into another direction, following opportunities which came my way. And remember, while I didn't have a plan per se, I had one goal when I started working: "I knew one thing: I didn't want some corporate-type, high-powered office job. I didn't want to manage people. I didn't want a lot of responsibility. I just wanted to make a decent living." Oops. Missed that one. I have been managing people, in an office, at a fairly high level for about 25 years now. In the beginning, I had no idea what I needed to do "to make a decent living." I certainly didn't have a plan and when I had a plan, it's execution wasn't very successful! What are our plans anyway? James has something to say about human plans:

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. (James 4:13-17)

Of course, planning is a good thing (Proverbs 21:5), but we shouldn't hold onto our plans or "dreams" too tightly. The Lord is sovereign and has our lives planned out; our lives will follow his will. Our job is to seek his will and make the wisest decisions we can: pray and call on trusted friends, colleagues, parents, relatives, etc. Ask them for their opinions. But we do not have perfect knowledge of the future and, apparently, God does not want us to know the future. Therefore, we act in faith and trust that he will shepherd us in this life. This is not easy...believe me. But it is what we are to do.

Finally, we all know the passage (Matt. 6:25-34), but I think we find it hard to believe. It's best to get into the habit of trusting God when you are young:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Finally, here's some advice. Kevin DeYoung, in his book on finding God's will, encourages his readers when they aren't sure what to do: "Just do something."

Today

I found out that I lost my teaching position while I was away visiting my parents during Memorial Day weekend. Organizational changes at Regent merged a couple of schools and when it all shook out, there was an extra HR professor in the mix: me. My wife and I thought of trying to sell the house and moving back to NJ, but with some help from Mike (now the former dean of the School of Business), I landed an instructional design position within the university. I had never professionally done "instructional design" (I wasn't really sure what it was), but I had built some courses the previous year, so I guess I qualified. Mike left Regent and I spend the next four years helping faculty design courses and learn about Blackboard. In 2008, I won the President's Award; I must have been doing something right.

In 2010, a colleague became the dean of the College of Arts & Science and I applied for the Assistant Dean of Instruction position to work for him. I was intimated by the responsibilities and the title, but in another leap of faith, I took the job. A promotion to Associate Dean of Instruction followed. After seven years in those positions, I found myself in a new position in Academic Affairs: Associate Vice President. I don't need to describe these positions too much, as least for my son's sake. He knows what I've been up to these last few years. I still work at Regent...making a living.

A few closing thoughts tomorrow.

A Couple of Surprises

Mike and I had attended Rutgers together; he went on to complete a PhD while I stopped at a masters. We stayed in touch over the years, so I wasn't surprised when he called me in early 2005. But I was surprised with what he asked me: He wanted to know if I was interested in becoming a professor at Regent University, a Christian institution in Virginia Beach, VA. Mike was dean of the School of Business and he needed someone to teach in management and leadership. We talked for awhile. When we hung up, my mind was still reeling.

When I was in college I had an English professor, Dr. McDonald, who was an inspiration to me. He was a great teacher and a nice man. Since that freshman year class with Professor McDonald, I had thought of becoming a college professor. There was something about sharing knowledge and helping students that appealed to me. I also liked the ebb and flow of college life: a season of teaching, rest in the summer, and then a new start in the fall. When I was in graduate school, I taught in the computer lab and liked it. Later, I taught Sunday School in my church and enjoyed that as well. Admittedly, I was nervous thinking about the prospect of leaving my current job and moving 400 miles away to Virginia, but part of me thought that this could be the opportunity of a lifetime. I asked my friends, parents, and people I trusted, and they all told me to take the risk and take the job. One man in particular - a good friend of my parents and my former Sunday School teacher from 9th grade - gave me some prescient advice; he said, "You may be going there to teach, but don't be surprised if God has other plans for you." Let's just put a pin in that statement for now.

Long story short, despite having to leave family and friends and taking a substantial pay cut, I took the job, and my young family and I headed for Virginia Beach. The house search turned out to be a bit of nightmare and, since I had never taught college students before, the learning curve was steep. But I guess I figured it out and completed my first year without traumatizing too many students. I also learned that I liked online teaching and was able to connect with distance students in ways I could never have imagined.

With my first year behind me, I was ready to take the summer off, do some writing, and prepare for the fall.

Not so fast...time to check the pin I mentioned above. God did indeed have other plans.

Changing Focus

While the Dawson ship was sinking, I jumped ship and went to Automatic Data Processing or ADP. My wife worked there and suggested that I interview.

At the end of my run at Dawson, I came to the realization that I didn't really like working in human resources. In school, we were taught that HR could be a strategic business partner, helping organizations manage talent, navigate re-engineering initiatives, and manage compensation and benefits to give an organization a competitive advantage. All cool stuff. In the real world - or at least in my real world - HR was still the company police, enforcing rules, coordinating terminations, handing out forms and, of course, organizing the company picnic. In most cases, HR served in a capacity tangential to the core business. And, if you remember, my initial motivation to work in HR was to help people: well, in most organizations, when HR isn't done right, HR doesn't really help people...it just annoys them. But there was one part of HR that interested me: information systems. In graduate school, and then at Samsung and Dawson, I gravitated toward the systems that stored the HR information. I liked that the information was organized and logical.

ADP was (and still is) a multi-billion dollar company that offers payroll, benefits, and human resources systems outsourcing services. The HR stuff was fairly new to ADP, so I thought the job was an opportunity to get in on the ground floor. At first, I was disappointed: I was essentially assigned to payroll implementations. After two weeks, I almost quit. But I stuck it out and after a year, I was assigned to a small national team (10 people) that was tasked with leading the rollout and implementation of a brand new HR system. It was one of the most exciting times of my life. Within a couple of years, I had become an expert. I was asked to build a technical support team for our regional center. My first hire was Joe. A great guy and a brilliant technician. We were always trying new stuff and often figuring things out as we went along. During that time, I looked forward to going to work everyday. That's rare. Also during that time, the Lord blessed our home with children and income. My wife had stopped working when the kids came, so we were down to one income. But at ADP, I received generous raises and bonuses, and was making enough to support my family. I didn't think I would ever be able to make such a good living.

Eventually though, the job changed. I was a manager now, supervising nine people as part of a helpdesk service. We had to be concerned about metrics and numbers...and I wasn't. I felt like it was time to move on. I interviewed at a couple of places, but nothing came of those opportunities. I was offered a job at Rutgers University doing fund-raising. I passed on it; it didn't seem right.

A couple of months later, I received a call from an old friend, a call that would radically change the direction of my career.

Dawson Home Fashions

I guess it's true that when you start a new job, you never really know what you are walking into. That was the case when I started at Dawson Home Fashions. There were multiple company sites, but I worked at one of the shower manufacturing plants in New Jersey. What an experience.

During my first week on the job, I was walking into work and ahead of me was one of the secretaries. I don't know how else to describe her, but she dressed like a hooker. Lined up, hanging out the factory windows were the workers gawking at her and saying things in Spanish. I'm pretty sure they weren't wishing her a nice day or quoting Bible verses. This was 1993, and sexual harassment was in the news. I had to tell the GM to tell his guys to cancel their morning ritual. When I spoke to the secretary, she didn't seem to mind the attention.

Within a month of my arrival, we had a surprise OSHA inspection and were fined $20,000. The place was a health and fire hazard: chemicals were everywhere and not stored properly, and workers did not use protective gear; they told me later - through a translator - that the gear was too hot. I guess a slow death was a better option. We also had an office in New York City: 666 5th Avenue. I should have known this job would be hell. Anyway, I had to take the train once a week into NY. Talk about culture shock. I went from non-English-speaking factory workers in a chemical deathtrap to the beautiful people in the fashion district. I preferred the deathtrap.

Before I arrived, Dawson had been named Hygiene Industries; not sure what comes to your mind, but that name sucked if you were trying to sell shower curtains and accessories. The company decided to rebrand itself to Dawson Home Fashions and hired a bunch of (expensive) executives from the cosmetics industry. They wanted to become the leader in high-end bathroom décor. I remember attending fashion week to show our wares; my only thought was, "What the hell am I doing here?"

My boss was the VP of HR. I didn't like him. We got along ok, but he made me nervous and he was full of himself. Did you ever have a job where you sat in your car in the morning staring at the entrance, debating whether to go in or just turn around a go home? This was that for me.

I lasted a year and two months. The rebranding wasn't working and I knew that the company wouldn't last. I had gone through a plant shutdown at Samsung. I didn't want to go through that again. I was right. Six months after I left, the company was sold and a year later the plant in NJ was closed.

Breaking into HR

As a teaching assistant, I had a few duties: do research for my professor, proctor exams, and help with management training seminars. The latter job was pretty cool: the training seminars were residential and managers from various companies would basically live together for an entire week learning how to manage people. I helped out by serving during happy hours and passing out food. You gotta start somewhere! Proctoring exams was interesting: I've never seen so many people trying to cheat. Students didn't even try to hide it. I hated proctoring exams.

After my first year at Rutgers I applied for internships, three to be exact: IBM, M&M Mars, and Clorox. I flew to Mississippi for the Clorox interview; I forget the name of the town, but it looked like it was the armpit of the world. I didn't get any of the internships although my wife-to-be scored one with IBM in Tucson, Arizona. At about the same time, I found out that teaching assistantships were removed from the budget...I lost my free ride. I decided to look for a full-time job and found one with Samsung International, a television manufacturing subsidiary of Samsung, Inc., located in New Jersey. I was hired as the Human Resources Supervisor. I took care of all of the benefits, recruiting, employee relations, etc...all of that HR crap. But in Korean companies, the HR guy was also the facilities and office manager, so I was in charge of the sprinkler systems, HVAC, maintenance, janitorial services, and waste disposal. On the HR side, I also dressed up as a gorilla and Barney the Dinosaur for the company picnic. I did it all. I learned on the job. I had some book-learning from school, but this was the real deal.

Three months after I started the job, the television manufacturing was shipped to Mexico. I was in charge of letting everyone go. Part of the facility remained as a service center. I stayed on in HR. About a year later, I got a call from Rutgers: they found a full scholarship for me. I decided to leave Samsung and finish my degree full-time. When I returned, I took a job in the computer lab - minimum wage, but I was able to help a lot of people.

As I approached graduation in 1993, I got married and then started looking for a full-time, start-my-career job. Again, I checked the want ads and found a posting for an HR manager position in Passaic, NJ. The company was Dawson Home Fashions - an international manufacturer of shower curtains. With the possible exception of being a lot boy for Cortese Dodge, it would become the worse job I ever had.

On My Way

As I mentioned earlier, I had started to swerve right in my politics and by 1988, I was a full-on, William Buckley conservative. As a new Christian, I also began to see the importance of family and the traditional family structure: the husband and father provides, wife and mother manages the home. This was what I believed was best and wanted for my life.

After my break-up, I met a girl at work who was a freshman at Calvin College and a believer. We got to know each other fairly well. I won't expand on that story line, but one day we were talking about traditional families and I told her what I wanted in my life. I remember she looked a bit puzzled and said to me, "Well, if that is what you want, do you think you can accomplish that working at UL as a technical correspondent?" That hit me hard. She was right. How could I support a family being a human test subject and pumping propane? That exchange literally changed my life. Thanks, Debbie, wherever you are.

I decided to find a career. I went to the library (no Internet yet) and looked through the Department of Labor's list of occupations. Hundreds, maybe thousands, of listings. I decided that human resources was something I could do: I liked to help people - I figured HR people did that. I tried to move into HR at UL, but the director said I didn't have the experience or education. OK, so I decided to go to graduate school. I applied to The Ohio State University, University of Rhode Island, West Virginia University, and Rutgers University. I was accepted to all of them, but Rutgers gave me the most money: a teaching assistantship which included full-tuition remission and a stipend.

In the summer of 1990, I said goodbye to the shock treatments and the Weather Channel people and headed to Piscataway, NJ to start my masters degree in Industrial Relations and Human Resources. I felt like I finally had some direction in my life.

Still No Career in Sight

After an underwhelming career performance in upstate New York, I headed back home to Long Island at the age of 24. I lived at home with my parents at first, but I knew I had to get a place of my own. To do that, I needed a job. I hit the want ads again and saw a posting for a "Technical Correspondent" at Underwriters Laboratories. UL is the company that checks and certifies all kinds of appliances, chemicals, plastics, etc. for safety. If you look closely, you'll see the UL trademark on your home appliances. I think the ad mentioned that an English degree was preferred so I applied. I interviewed an shortly thereafter got a job in the Research Department. I found out that "Technical Correspondent" meant "do whatever the researchers wanted." I created a lot of reports, did some computer programming, reviewed technical manuals, and participated in testing. The latter was the most interesting. One experiment involved my arm being strapped to a table with electrodes attached to my wrist and index finger. The engineer would send electric current through the electrodes and I would have to tell him when I felt the shock. Sometimes - by accident - he left the dial turned up a bit too high and I got quite a jolt. All in a good day's work.

While having all that fun was great, the $17k annual salary wasn't much to live on. I eventually picked up a second job in the evenings and weekends at BGS: an appliance, video rental, and propane gas-filling store. I was mostly a stock boy who picked up and delivered appliances, but I also pumped propane. (FYI - A full-tank of barbeque-sized propane tank weighs 20 pounds.) One time, this guy pulled up in a Toyota Tercel and wanted his 100 lb tank filled. Those tanks are about 5 feet tall. We filled it and the guy shoved it in his trunk with the tank sticking straight out the back of the car; it looked like a torpedo. Would have hated to be within a mile of that car if he got into an accident on the way home! The store was family-owned and the owners were a bit on, let's say, the eccentric side. The husband and wife fought constantly. The wife's twin sister worked there and was married to the manager of the video rental operation. They were always talking about their next vacation to Florida, and they were all fascinated by the Weather Channel.

I worked both jobs, moved to an apartment, and was doing ok. But then...my fiancé (my college girlfriend) broke off our engagement. My life felt like it was unraveling and I hit a new low in my life. It was at this time that I discovered that I was one of God's elect. My life began to change dramatically.

Agency Rent-a-Car

"Thank you selecting Agency Rent-a-Car, Mike speaking, may I help you?" That's how we had to answer the phone at my new job. I found this job in the want-ads. I took it because I liked cars...that's it. The job was pretty straight-forward: tow a car to customers at their homes, auto repair or body shop, or their places of work, do the paper work, and then drive the company car back to the office. We would tow the company car on the back of the customer car. When we arrived at the customer's location, we would detach the tow bar from the customer car, throw it in the trunk of the company car (a 1984 Dodge Horizon hatchback), and be on our way. The challenging parts of the job were (1) towing a car in urban areas, (2) detaching the tow car on inclines, and (3) backing up. I usually did ok, but once I didn't swing out far enough in a parking lot and put a huge dent in some guy's Lincoln Town Car. I paid him cash so I wouldn't have to file a claim and have my boss find out!

I liked taking the cars to customers who were way out in the country. It was easy to drive on the highway and one delivery could suck up two hours in my dreary day. Four over-the-road tows and the day was done! Also, at this point in my life, my politics started to veer to the right. The long drives allowed me to listen to conservative radio for long periods of time. The following year, I ordered my first subscription to National Review.

To get some extra cash, I worked part-time at night with Curtis as a janitor. I was also living rent-free in a house because I agreed to help the owner fix it up: minor electrical, demolition, painting, etc. It was a dump, but it was free.

But by the summer of 1987, I came to the realization that I wasn't going anywhere in my life. I left Rochester and went to Cleveland, OH to be near my girlfriend. After a couple of months and with no job prospects, I headed back home to Long Island. It was time to regroup.

Out of College

Saying goodbye to my friends and roommates at the end of my senior year was really hard. I remember standing in the parking lot behind our apartment with my girlfriend watching Craig, and then Andy, drive away. It was even worse when Meg left to go home. Everyone had either gone to another city for a job, entered the military, or gone home. Only Paul stayed around, but we lost touch and it would be a year before we reconnected. The only consolation was that I had made friends outside of the university...at the Monroe County Department of Social Services.

I found an apartment that I shared with one of my college friend's sisters, who was attending medical school at the University. Yes, my roommate was a girl. Nothing was going on, but my mother was not happy. Anyway, at least I had a place to live. For work, I continued as an accounts payable clerk by day and a janitor by night. I got the night job because Curtis - who worked with me in Accounts Payable - also owned a custodial services company (connections are so important!). At first, I worked part-time, but eventually I gave up my job at MCDSS and worked for Curtis full-time. I typically worked the 5pm to midnight shift. We also did industrial clean-ups on weekends. My record for paid hours in one week was 81; that record still stands! One of my responsibilities was to clean the operating room at a medical facility. We had to scrub up and dress in operating room apparel before entering the room. I remember picking up sutures off the floor with my bare hands; not the smartest thing to do in 1985 during the AIDS epidemic, but getting infected never occurred to me. God protected me in my stupidity.

While working for Curtis, I picked up a second job as a lot man at a local Dodge dealership. I was responsible for prepping cars for customers, off-loading cars from the car transport, washing cars, and other exciting duties. I remember one time, it was pouring rain and I was running across the lot with a box of keys that I had to take back to the office. I slipped, fell, and spilled about 50 sets of keys all over the asphalt. Not my best moment. With both jobs, I was working about 70 hours a week. After a month I realized I couldn't keep up the pace and ended my automotive career at Cortese Dodge.

I continued to work as a janitor until September 1986 when Paul and I decided to quit our jobs and tour the United States. With my paltry savings, I bought a 1977 Mercury Marquis station wagon and we left to see the country. Two months later, we were back in Rochester. It was time to find another job.

Working and Studying

On that sunny September Day, I decided to start at one end of Mt. Hope Boulevard (or was it Avenue?) and work my way down until I landed a job. My first stop was the Monroe County Department of Social Services. At the front desk I asked if there were any openings and within a few minutes, an HR person was standing in front of me offering me a paid internship. Apparently, they had one slot left and I was the lucky guy to fill it. I had no idea what I would be doing, but it paid $4.25/hour (still the minimum wage) and I could work about 10 hours a week. Not bad. Within a couple of weeks I was working.

My first job was sitting in a room for several hours a day putting sheets of paper in order by client number. I think the sheets were called transmittals. Mind-numbing work, but what made it somewhat interesting was that I was joined by two welfare recipients who were in a "welfare to work" program. One lady was nice, but not that bright, but the other lady was both smart and nice. Anyway, I did that job for about four months. Next, I moved to another office where I had to write information on these little cards and file them in a metal rack. I don't remember why I was doing that, but I did that for several months until senior year started. (I didn't go home that summer, but kept working at the MCDSS.) Next, I worked in Accounts Payable. I don't remember what exactly my job was, but it involved writing numbers on 8.5 x 11 cards, making sure the totals were balanced, and filing them. The pace of the job was what you would expect at a county government agency: glacial. I wasn't a believer back then so I would sometimes drink too much the night before and show up to work with a hangover. The hangover didn't really affect my performance and no one noticed. Well, they noticed I had a hangover and the two older women in AP would yell at me for drinking too much, but I could still write numbers on cards, balance the totals, and file them. I did this job until I graduated.

I met some great people at MCDSS: Curtis, Elaine, Betty, Hank, Sandy, Lisa, others. The "internship" lasted two years. I think at some point it stopped being an internship and became a regular part-time job. I guess they liked me. As graduation approached, I still had no idea what I wanted to do, but I knew that I didn't want a job in public service.

I knew that, but after I graduated, I stayed at MCDSS and worked full-time in the Accounts Payable Department. I had nowhere else to go and it paid the bills. I also started a second job at night. With my newly minted college degree in hand...I became a janitor.

Summer work

I didn't work at school the first two years of college. My first year was a drag. Once I got to school, I realized that I didn't want to be there. My roommate and I got along but barely. I muddled through that first year. When I got home in May, I started looking for a job right away. In those days, we checked the classifieds in the newspaper for jobs. Sears was hiring. I wanted to be a stock boy but they started me on the register. Back then, being a cashier didn't involve just scanning bar codes; you had to key prices in, manually process returns, and if you made a mistake, there was the dreaded "void" process. I lasted three days. Within a week, I found a job at Harrow's, a pool store, working in the stockroom: my dream job. It really was a good job. I spent most of the day lifting heavy boxes and getting buff! And since it was a pool store, a lot of pretty girls came into the store with minimal attire. Like I said, a dream job! I returned to the job during Christmas break; in the winter, Harrow's sold artificial Christmas trees and stuff.

My sophomore year was a lot better as I settled in with a good bunch of friends...and, I got a girlfriend. I still didn't work during the school year, but my summer and Christmas earnings kept me in beer and pizza. After another stint at Harrow's the summer before my junior year, I went back to Rochester with a plan to get a part-time job. I could definitely use the money and I needed something to suck up some of my spare time. So, on a sunny day in September 1983, I put on a non-wrinkled pair of pants, shirt, and tie and headed out to Mt. Hope Boulevard to find a job.

Prequel

Before we move into my post-college work journey, I'll catch you up with my pre-college work journey. My first job - well it wasn't really a job - was as an entrepreneur. Of course, I did the lemonade stand, but I also sold stuff. I looked around my room for anything that someone might find valuable, slapped a price on it, and tried to sell the stuff on my front lawn. I also made things. I had found a cache of small, electrical motors in my neighbor's basement. (He let me have them.) I mounted a propeller on the motor, taped it to the top of an old Colgate toothpaste tube box, stuck two D batteries in the box, wired up the motor, and sold it for 25 cents as a portable electric fan. I sold two of them to my neighbor across the street, although no one ever bought my old comic books and baseball cards. I wasn't much of a business man.

After that - I was probably 9 or 10 years old - I cut lawns. I had two clients. I got $5 a lawn. That wasn't bad money for a 10 year old in the early 70's. After that, I was a paperboy. I made about $13/week delivering 55 papers a day with my bike - 7 days a week, 365 days a year. I had a metal basket strapped to my handle bars that held the papers. The papers were so heavy they destroyed the bearings in my front tire; after that, I had to push the papers around in an old shopping cart. The next job was clamming: My friend Tom and I bought a boat and pulled clams out of the Great South Bay for $20/day. It was hard work, but when we didn't feel like working we just took the boat across the Bay and went to the beach! At the end of my senior year in high school, I moved into the restaurant business. I became a busboy at Sizzler Steakhouse making $4.25/hour and all the soda I could drink. After a couple of months, I was promoted to dishwasher. I really liked that job. I may return to that line of work someday! I worked at Sizzler until I left for college in August of 1981.

I really didn't know what I wanted to do when I got to college, but since I was a very good student, it seemed like the a logical choice.

Things did not get any clearer when I arrived on campus.

Making a Living

My son is just a few months from graduating from college...so hard to believe. It's been almost 34 years since I graduated from school, but I remember the last semester pretty well. I knew that it was the end of an important time in my life. I knew I would miss my friends in May when they left (as many of them did). I also remember not having a clue as to what I was going to do. I had majored in English (after a short stint as an electrical engineering major) with a strong minor in Economics (27 credits), but I didn't know what I was supposed to do with that. Like a lot of kids that age, I was a bit lost. I knew one thing: I didn't want some corporate-type, high-powered office job. I didn't want to manage people. I didn't want a lot of responsibility. I just wanted to make a decent living. But what was I going to do in May when I graduated? I didn't take advantage of career services at college -a career in what? I had a part-time job during college which I knew I could turn into full-time if I wanted. More on that later. But that job wasn't a career or anything like that. While I looked forward to spending time with my friends during that last semester, I was nervous about post-graduation. As I said, a part of me felt lost.

I've come a long way since May 1985. I never in my wildest dreams would have planned this journey. And I never saw it coming.

I thought I would share my journey over the next few posts, taking you through my "making a living" path. This won't be my life story, just my work story. I think my son is way ahead of where I was in February 1985, but he may be a little anxious about what's next. If that's the case, I hope he finds some encouragement in my story. One thing I know for sure: while I was not always faithful to God, it has become apparent that He has always been faithful to me.

Jude 24-25

A wonderful doxology:

To him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy — to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen.