Addiction? Or Something Else?

In the third chapter of their book, Arterburn and Stoeker explore the difference between normal sexual desire in men and addition. They provide a couple of multi-step questionnaires to help a man figure out where he may be on addiction scale. From my perspective, I think our culture throws around that word "addition" a bit too much. I would prefer to look at "addictions" as excessive desires. In regards to this topic, we have to determine the extent of our desire for sex, intimacy, sexual images, etc. and determine how much that desire iscontrolling our lives and, as Christians, capturing our hearts and replacing God with these other things. In this blog we have talked often about idolatry; instead of using the word "addiction" to describe an excessive desire for sex, we can use "idolatry." And in this case, the questions we have to ask ourselves are, "To what extent am I willing to satisfy my sexual desires? Am I willing to sin to gratify myself? In those moments of desire, am I relying on God's word for guidance, or something else?"

When we look at sexual desire in this light, then we realize that - as men - we all have a problem. We're all on a continuum: some struggle with it more, some struggle with it less. We don't have to attach dichotomous labels of "ok" or "addict." We all have desires that we need to tame and we don't have to get to the "addict" level to start addressing them in a righteous manner.

How do we address this problem? There are a number of ways, but in this book, Arterburn and Stoeker offer training ones eyes and mind to behave: "I needed to align my eyes and mind with Scripture and to avoid every hint of sexual immorality." They cover this later in the book.