Starving the Eyes

This chapter in Everyman's Battle is primarily for married men. Of course, "starving your eyes" of sexual images and temptations is important for single men, too. For married men, the authors advise married men to starve their eyes and direct sexual desires to their only legitimate source of gratification - their wives. The authors spend a couple of pages creating a food metaphor for sexual gratification. It's a bit odd. Read it and make your own decision as to how helpful it is.

There's a great story from a guy named Randy as he describes how he invigorates his desire for his wife and a better marriage. It's too long to recount here, but I think guys who have been married for awhile and who have learned to love their wives as they are, will appreciate its truthfulness and honesty.

The authors argue that as husbands "starve their eyes" there will be "payoff" at home:

You can count on a sexual payoff from obedience. Whether your wife is wide or narrow or lumpy or smooth, when you focus your full attention on [her], she'll become ever more beautiful to you. Her weak points will become sexy because they're yours and yours alone. They're all you have, and you can cherish them and let them fulfill you...If you limit your eyes to your wife only, your own tastes will adapt to what you're viewing. Your wife's strengths and weaknesses will become your tastes. Eventually, she'll be beyond comparison in your eyes.

I think Arterburn and Stoeker get this right for the most part. The journey to "beyond comparison" isn't linear and often it includes taking one step forward and two steps back, but if you allow God to work in your heart, your eyes will appreciate your wife more and more. For single guys, start "starving our eyes" now, so that you can appreciate your future wife from the start and never lose your appreciation for her.