Just by Being Male

In this chapter of Everyman's Battle, the authors talk about the male sex drive and why we are the way we are. There are obvious differences between men and women when it comes to sexual drive: I think we all get that. While God gave us this strong desire, it obviously can lead us into temptation especially when we make sex the most important thing in our lives. Combine this with our fallen natures and we could live lives punctuated by perfect storms of lust and temptation. The authors cover all of this in detail.

I just wanted to focus for a moment on the flip side; that is, what it means to tame our desires and live the "straight" life. It is not easy and I would guess that women have no idea what it takes for a man to ignore all of the impulses and live a "domestic" life. (Although I know that they have their own challenges for sure.) Arterburn and Stoeker offer a quote from James Dobson that captures the straight life:

The straight life for a working man...is pulling your tired frame out of bed, five days a week, fifty weeks out of the year. It is earning a two-week vacation in August, and choosing a trip that will please the kids. The straight life is spending your money wisely when you'd rather indulge in a new whatever; it is taking your son bike riding on Saturday when you want so badly to watch the baseball game; it is cleaning out the garage on your day off after working sixty hours the prior week. The straight life is coping with head colds and engine tune-ups and crab grass and income-tax forms; it is taking your family to church on Sunday when you've heard every idea the minister has to offer; it is giving a portion of your income to God's work when you already wonder how ends will meet.

This life - compared to a life of fulfilling personal desires - is the difference between manhood and maleness. Manhood is sacrificing for your wife and family as Christ did for the church.

Maleness is about you. Manhood is about others.

Sexual integrity begins when maleness gives way to manhood.