Your Battle Plan

In chapter 10 of Everyman's Battle, Arterburn and Stoeker describe the next steps in the sexual purity battle: developing good habits. They argue that bad habits got you into this mess and, therefore, good habits can get you out. Looking at girls walking by, watching pornography, and dreaming up sensual things in our imaginations feed sexual impurity. We can build perimeters of defense around our eyes, mind, and heart through good habits. We can protect our eyes by "bouncing" them off of lustful objects instead of lingering on them; for example, if you are walking behind an attractive woman, don't stare at her butt, look to the side or look to the ceiling or - these days - look at your phone (at a football schedule or something, not a Victoria's Secret catalog). By "bouncing" your eyes, you will reduce the images in your head that you might fixate on later. With your mind, "take capture every thought to make it obedient to Christ." Evaluate your thoughts, repent when necessary, and think about something good. "Lingering" is often the greatest problem: the sensual thought comes into your mind and you think about it - really think about it - and then the thought captures you instead of the thought being captured by Christ.

Sexual impurity is a habit - a bad one - and doing the things mentioned above are critical to help a man change his behavior. The authors seem to imply that this is a simple process: change your habits, solve your problem. But as we have discussed in the blog many times, the heart is the key. We can divert bad thoughts and we can divert our eyes, but the heart is deceitful and will always pursue what it wants. Foundationally, the battle of sexual impurity takes place in the heart and that is not a battleground where we can win on our own. A heart change comes through our repentance, and forgiveness and grace from Jesus Christ. We have to acknowledge that this is not a battle we can win: we have to surrender our lives in every area to the Lord and He will change us. This surrender is harder than breaking habits. You have to admit that you are dependent on someone else for holy living. Your pride will fight back - hard. But as one of His - as one who He chose to love and save - you will not be forsaken. He will not let you go.

I took you from the ends of the earth,
from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, ‘You are my servant’;
I have chosen you and have not rejected you.
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. - Isaiah 41:9-10